The Worst Kept Secrets

We build our lives in narrative, so that the stories we tell each other end up shaping our own perspectives of identity. That's a weird thought to think: that the stories I tell you make me who I am, both in my head and in yours.

Who would you say I am from this #summitsunday line of story telling? Is it vanity, a public correspondence, or a love for adventure that makes me post the summits?
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Recently I've gotten hung up on the idea of #secrettraining. Well, maybe I should back up and explain that I first heard the term from Wilson Dippo back in high school, and that it has always had some appeal to me since first hearing it, but now has gained a significant place again in my story-telling. Back then, as he explained it, secret training was the training you did outside of ski practices- on your own- which made you inextricably faster in front of your other teammates when you showed up for regularly scheduled practices. It made me feel covert and elite and like I was getting a jump on the competition, a kind of Navy Seal's approach to ski racing. Secret training back then had always been best early in the morning, as dawn approached, before the sun and everybody else were up. It felt (capital I) Important, like I was the only one in the world doing this stuff. I think now it's the same: the idea of #secrettraining is best before and after "work", when usually you'd be drinking beer on the porch or watching your favorite BBC drama on Netflix, when nobody expects you to be out having fun and getting fit.

These days I'm coaching juniors for "work", and I find myself drawn to #secrettraining all over again. Seeing the kids' enthusiasm at getting fast has rekindled my own joy in being fit and good at the sport. At practice and in team administration I'm there for the kids, trying to make sure that they get the most out of their workouts. I hand out poles to people who break them in the cracks rollerskiing (I cannot believe how many poles they break), and wait for slower runners to make sure they find the correct trail turns. It's not always a good workout for me, but the job isn't about me, and I'm totally fine with that. But what it does remind me is that these kids are out there training, and sneaking up on the older guys who've done it for longer, and you can't just be fit and fast without the work, even if you worked hard earlier in your life. To appease this ego I've started taking afternoon runs, and hopping in on as many workouts outside of junior coaching as I can. It's my own form of secret training, because I'm not ready to give up being fit quite yet. #AlwaysAnAthlete

I keep telling people about my secret in a not-so-secret way. It's about the worst kept secret I've ever had. I just get such a kick out of telling people I'm going to go on a run, and then tell them "shush, it's a secret."

#summitsunday after a #secrettraining ride up Donner Summit

#summitsunday as told by Johannes' Camera